Thursday, June 23, 2011
by Margaret Grayburn
We have had a life changing pilgrimage to the Holy Land. We have been so blessed to be able to visit these lands and these fabulous peoples. But my, the differences among the various cultures; in how they express their beliefs and their respective levels of tolerance for those differences. Below are some observations.
Weddings
Our first night in Amman, Jordan, a Wednesday, we were gathering for our devotion before going to dinner and had to move our meeting space. Something was going on in the lobby of the hotel. Lots of dancing, drumming, and singing! Eventually it moved into one of the ballrooms. It was a groom, the male members of his wedding party, and male guests. But where were the women? Curious.
Our second night in Amman, a Thursday, we found ourselves in the lobby area, hearing drums, bagpipes, and seeing dancers positioned on the spiral staircase going down to the floor below. Moments later, a bride and groom arrived and slowly descended down the staircase amid lots of singing and dancing, as if they were the Pied Piper – all the guests followed them! The bride was very recognizable as a bride, dressed in a beautiful white gown with long sleeves. Her hair was completely covered, as was her neck, and she wore a bridal veil. She was stunningly beautiful. Moments later, the music started again and a second bride and groom appeared. This bride was dressed very much like an American bride might be dressed, but she had long sleeves on her gown. She did not have her hair covered.
On our third night in Amman, a Friday, a limo arrived. A bride and groom exited the limo to a shower of sparklers many feet tall. They, too, descended down the steps. Moments later, many women dressed in beautiful garments, ranging from complete head coverings to some head coverings, to no head coverings, were back in the lobby riding the elevator to some unknown destination. This was repeated at least three additional times that evening. One of the brides had a gown with wide straps over the shoulders, but otherwise her shoulders were bare. She wore a veil pinned to the back of her beautifully coiffed hair. She could have been an American bride.
Each night we learned a little bit more of the wedding traditions for brides and grooms in Jordan. The bride and groom arrive together at the reception, but then they have separate celebrations – one for the women and one for the men. Very interesting. It seems that weddings can take place any night of the week. And weddings at hotels like where we were only happened if the groom’s family had money. In Jordan, the groom’s family has to pay for the wedding.
On our second night in Jerusalem, Israel, a Monday, we drove by a wedding. We didn’t get to take in any of the wedding traditions, as our viewing was so brief. But the bride looked like what a bride in America might look like. The next night, a Tuesday, was the same.
Our farewell dinner, a Thursday, was in Caesarea. There, we viewed five different brides and grooms having their photo and video shoots. Clearly, these too were families of a lot of money!
Our guide, Raymond, explained that in Israel weddings typically take place on Monday and Thursday evenings, which is a Jewish custom. However, Muslim weddings in Israel also typically fall on Mondays and Thursdays.
Women
It was a curious thing to us. At every restaurant in Jordan, we were served by men. And the hotel “maids” were also men. The same was true in Israel, until our final evening in Caesarea. Where were the women? In Amman and in Jerusalem, men and women worked at the front desk of the hotels.
Most of the merchants we saw in both countries were men. But at one checkpoint, one of the Israeli soldiers entering our bus (machine guns in hand) was a woman.
In Jordan, most women wore head coverings. And, typically, hair was completely covered. While we were at the Dead Sea, a girl, probably in her teen years, swam in one of the hotel pools. She was wearing something that looked somewhat like a wet suit, but not quite as tight. Her entire head was covered with the same fabric, allowing just the oval of her face showing. Her mother wore the traditional dress and head covering, leaving just her bare feet showing so she could wiggle her toes at the water’s edge. We saw all manner of dress from western to full birka.
In Israel, we saw many women covering their heads, but not necessarily covering all of their hair. And, while at the Wailing Wall, most Jewish women did not have their heads covered.
Our first concert in Israel was at St. George’s Episcopal Church in Jerusalem. We were introduced to, and later treated to a tour of the facility by the Reverend Heather Mueller, one of the first legally ordained women pastors in the Episcopal Church. She retired after 29 years as a pastor in Hawaii and is now working at St. George. However, because she is a woman, she is not able to officiate in the church service in Israel.
While in Jordan, we toured an Art Museum. We viewed a photograph of a Jordanian woman, head covered and dressed in the robe-like garment so common for women, with her wrists tied together with cloth. The title for this piece of art was Bondage. This begs the question – given a choice, do women want things to change?
Worksheets
In both countries the school year was just about done during our visit. Both countries start their school year in early September. And in both countries, the calendar for all schools is the same. In Israel, because of religious holidays, some schools have different days off from time to time. In Jordan, the school week is Sunday-Thursday. And a teacher is paid 500 JD per month, which is about $750 per month.
In Israel, the public schools are segregated into two groups – Jewish schools and Muslim schools. When school is in session varies between the two groups. Christians go to private schools. They attend school Monday-Thursday and Saturday. The public school curriculum includes and is required to teach religion. According to Raymond, our guide, a Jewish teacher teaching in a Jewish school earns $1500 per month while a Muslim teacher teaching in a Muslim school earns about $800 per month.
Wisdom
Sami, our Jordanian guide, told us on many occasions how the people of Jordan can peacefully coexist in the same communities while practicing different religions.
In Israel, troubles abound because everyone is not the same. Being Jewish is not only a descriptor of religion but of ethnicity. The same is true for other groups within Israel. Politics aside, we have been asked several times on this trip by various people in Israel to pray for peace in Israel. That is what we MUST do.
If this trip to Jordan and Israel were a field trip for my students at school, I might ask you to reflect on these observations during the trip and report your findings using a graphic organizer called a Venn Diagram – you know – circles that slightly overlap, yet have parts of the circle that are on their own. Each circle would represent a country. In the parts of the circles that overlap you write the information the countries have in common. In the parts that do not overlap you write the information the countries do not have in common.
Your assignment: Create a Venn Diagram comparing the above information of Jordan and Israel with what you know about the United States. You should have a circle for each country, with overlaps for Jordan and Israel, Jordan and the USA, Israel and the USA, and one overlap for all three.
After viewing your Venn Diagram, how much are we the same and how much are we different? Think also, how would you prefer your own culture be? What kind of “Venn Blend”? Be prepared to defend your answer. Grades will be posted within the week.
